Sunday, July 30, 2006

Dream of Jed, not so obvious

Last night I had a dream of extreme muscle ability. I was able to pose my body in any position as long as there was a place to anchor, even the tip of my nose was strong enough to lift my body effortlessly. It was more like the ability to levitate, but I had to have a place to put a tiny portion of my being. Even the most fragile leaf of a tall tree was enough to support my mass while in perfect ballance on the toenail of my smallest toe.

In my quest to not make matters worse and fulfill my duty as the self appointed Prophet of the Obvious I am now in fear for my sanity. The aforementioned quest to pass through this stressful life disconnected while observing my failures as if they were a work of fiction on modern crystal ball, a mostly burned out cathode ray tube aches my soul. The obvious works being done near and far all appear to be designed to hurt people in my classification/station here on this earthly plane and my passion is growing to an explosive point and I know not what to do with the stored up energy.

I know of many good points to ponder to keep my gander at bay, yet I feel the need to be angry, fearful and hurt. I want to join with some like minded peoples and beat out a difference here, somehow. If the alliance I wish to find, if like minded people exist cost me my own life, then...so be it. It would be better to die than to live the half-life of muddy observations I seem to have lately. After all death is the easy part of living while so many things pile on to suck it away. My ability to focus on these points has been honed during this fallow time of a few seasons as I try and keep matters neutral.

In my insanity of having too few resources to move anything here, I grow ready to accept any fate as long as I am moving something, someway here on earth. In my observations when I apply efforts with passion it has grown no fruit that I can see, perhaps my dream points to the effortless movement I may have already. Life with its time equation has made everyone a hypocrite in the past, present and future, most importantly me, as I am the single largest influence in my life. Help me find a way into the future that makes matters better and to a prophecy to progress a positive change before my ability of mind and body slips away. I know from my vision I must be connected at least in the smallest part to have any ability to rise above the baseline of gravity in my situation.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 11:11 AM | link | 9 comments |

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Jed's Shop at home



As I grow older I am finding that my knees are starting to get some wear and I have been changing my walk and actions to cope with the pain. So yesterday I was flipping the tele through our four cable-less channels and the best reception was an infomercial on these inserts for a shoe that better distribute the load on the feet. I watch for a while and see the computer scan of how these units work and I agree that the logic is good enough to sell me a try.

Side note: My wife thinks I am wacky for watching the infomercials. I tell her I like the fact they are not interupted by other commercials and I like that on-track kind of theme even if I am never going to buy the product.

Anyway I call the handy-dandy toll free no hassle phone number...

Jed: Yes, I would like to buy a pair of the Walk-Fit shoe inserts for $19.95

Salesperson: OK sir, I would like to get your e-mail address. (She also gets my credit card, home address and phone number)

Jed: Why my e-mail?

Salesperson: So we can send you other product offers.

Jed: No, I don't need all that spam, I just want the inserts. Please delete my e-mail.

Salesperson: You can also buy up to five extra pairs at just $14.95 each for all your shoes, just for acting on this offer today. Also for $9.99 we can express ship them next day.

Jed: No, I don't need any extra pairs, extra fast, I only want the one pair of inserts.

Salesperson: Today with this offer you can get a thirty day suppily of our bone suppliment that helps rebuild joint strength. The following months will be automaticly drafted from your credit card at $19.95 each month unless you cancel.

Jed: No, I just want the inserts for my shoes in normal delivery time. I do not want to join a monthly drug club where you charge things automatic on my card.

Salesperson: Very well Sir, by calling today you also can get for free the first month a special insurance that covers some of your medical cost your current insurance does not for just $49.99 a month for the following months. Can I sign you up?

Jed: I only want the damn things you put in your shoes to help with foot stress.

Salesperson: I understand Sir, but you can also with todays offer get a three night stay at over twenty exotic locations by filling out our phone servey. Shall I switch you over?

Jed: No Miss, I do not want extra pairs, drugs, insurance, fancy air shipping, motel stays or any other offers peroid.

Salesperson: OK sir I understand, but today you can get free for the first month three national publications...

Jed: (cutting her short) What do you think I am going to say to this offer? I only want one pair of the shoe inserts. I do not want to buy any other products today and now I am nervous that you have my credit card number. Please process my order for one pair of shoe inserts for $19.95, and that is all.

Salesperson: OK Sir, we will be charging your Visa $19.95 for the Walk-Fit shoe inserts and a $9.99 processing and shipping fee for a total of $29.94.

Jed: What the hell it cost 50% to ship these! Just forget the whole transaction I don't want the damn shoe inserts anymore.

Salesperson: Are you sure Sir?

Jed: Mam, I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

Salesperson: OK Sir, I have aborted the transaction in full.

Jed: Thank God.

200 seconds later the phone rings...

Jed: Hello, Jed's house, Jed speaking.

Caller (later known as Jim): Hello Jed, I am Jim with Walk-Fit International. I understand you aborted a sale with us. Do you mind me asking if there was a problem with our product?

Jed: (feeling an open door to walk in) Well Jim I did not want to get in a land deal in China, join a health club, sign a contract with a drug dealer, buy a condo, get the Wall Street Journal delivered to my door or anything other than some inserts for my work boots which I wear sixteen hours a day six days a week most weeks.

Jim: Well Sir let me send you our fine product with no shipping charge at $19.95 charged to your Visa.

Jed: That is all I wanted in the first place, Jim.

Jim: I am sorry for the confusion Jed, and I hope you enjoy our fine product and if you not you can send them back at no charge to you. I am sending you my office phone number and e-mail address with the inserts, do feel free to call with any questions or concerns about our product or service. Good day Sir.

Jed: Thanks for not making matters worse.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 10:10 AM | link | 14 comments |

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

By the letter B


As I read the news today I am glad I don't live in a city that starts with the letter B.

We have bad bolts in Boston on the big dig, bombs in Beirut and the same bull shiite from Baghdad.

All I can do is be thankful I don't live in either place to make matters worse.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 6:26 AM | link | 5 comments |

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Tennessee Crack(ed) Tax


I have been watching the State trying to explain its drug tax stamp idea (called the crack tax) for near two years. It looks as if a good run to try and tax folks who deal in drugs may be near an end after a few million dollars has been collected. The idea was that you could pay the tax on your pot, crack, coke, moonshine, meth or whatever drug you were selling agianst the law right up front. So if you were
caught at least the taxes were paid and they could not get your house and car and all the money from your bank account and so on. The complications were many in folks minds right from the start. You see, you could not just get the stamps by mail you had to appear at a tax office in Nashville in person and make a claim to have so much of whatever and declair so much weight by which it would be taxed. It is the only tax in which you had to be present to pay.

See this guys attempt at getting some stamps it is very interesting if you are interested. Also this is the Knoxville News Sentinel account of this tax being questioned.

When I first heard of this stamp idea I knew why the State Government wanted it, but I thought in my own uneducated mind of complications. First off, the Department of Weights and Measures would need to get involved because the taxes are on grams of certian items, so everyone must have a State stamped scale
inspected at least once a year. Then what about sales taxes and dues to each county for the commerce? As best I could understand it each person who owned the drugs would have to buy a new stamp because the stamps were specific to each person not to the item, so if you got some pot with the tax stamp on it, that would not matter unless the stamp was identified to you. That left the item to be taxed and taxed forever until it was used up.

I tried real hard to get an image of our states drug tax stamp and I am under the
impression that an actual stamp has never been issued.

I wonder if I had a stamp if it would make matters worse?


UPDATE: Thanks to Say Uncle I now have a Tennessee stamp. I ain't very creative.

:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 10:10 PM | link | 2 comments |

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Syd Barrett


Man I was hurt today when I read Syd Barrett had passed away. He was a focal point for my youth in some indirect weird way. I remember asking for this really cool LP for Christmas called Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd back when I was in 5th grade. The year was 1974 about to be 1975 in a week and my Dad and I sat down to listen to the album and read the lyrics. He was taken back by the insightful words and freaky music. The next thing I knew he was buying 8 tracks to play in his car and we began talking about things that were deeper than the small factory town that we lived in. I mean the albums were not just possessions these were listened to until the plastic-vinyl were getting worn down. We would talk about what it ment to me and him. He was very interested to know my thoughts on the weird collection of words that ment something to him and he wondered about my mind and what this was like in my ears. I remember telling him I thought "Lunatic" was about going crazy, and he thought that it was the true title track because moon and luna were the same thing.

I did not find out until a few years later about the other Pink Floyd member Syd Barrett who actually inspired many artist like David Bowie and of course his friends and band members. When I did hear of his life and music I had to find more of his work and I was the only person I knew in ninth grade who knew the song "Bike" by Syd. Anyway I started a journey into my intelect and the meaning of artistic expression with a fire started by Syd Barrett.

I found out the other day that I was born on the new moon...you can look it up August 8, 1964. I never knew this before I posted (here and here) about feeling my best when the moon was dark and new. Thinking about the moon when you are feeling feelings can't make matters any worse.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 9:29 PM | link | 4 comments |

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Dumb Smartphone


I have this smart phone from Nokia I have been using for the past three years and it is dead tech, but I like it. Well the other day I was in a rush to do some laundry and the phone was attached to my belt so as I loaded the clothes the smart phone unclipped from my belt and fell in. Needless to say my smartphone got real dumb after a spin or two with water and Tide. This phone is the one that I use to post all my photos here and I like having it with me all the time because otherwise I would not go to the effort to get a camera and take a shot when a good one comes in my view.

My wife made this beautiful and delicious
blackberry cobbler after picking the berrys.
I call it "real blackberry".

See Jed still gets high! This is about sixty feet above
a baseball field, another good shot that would be missed
had I not had a camera with me in the boom truck.

Faced with the loss of my only digital camera I went on a search for a new one. I have found that Nokia has made some wonderful advancements with their Smartphone line up. I also found I can't afford to upgrade to the smaller and smarter phones with three megapixel cameras and computer features that make some laptops look weak. I did find a used phone just like my old phone and I am happy to have it to catch my simple 640x480 photos for sharing.

I have seen a glimpse into the future of hand held devices that can see, speak, and hear things way out of the range of my own human eyes and ears. The dead tech unit I carry has programs to hear and meter tones that I can't with its digital tuner. It has an IR port to talk to other units like computers and televisions. It has bluetooth radio communication, wi-fi and can capture digital video and photos. It has a program to convert all sorts of data to other sorts of data like watts to horsepower, metric to S.A.E. and cubic feet to water volume. It can use data like e-books, pdf, wmv and mp3 files as well. There are just too many features to mention in this post.


The prophet of the obvious can see that these types of devices will become part of the human lifestyle in the next generation if we don't end up burnning out our bio-sphere first which would of course make matters worse.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 10:20 AM | link | 7 comments |