Sunday, July 23, 2006

Jed's Shop at home

As I grow older I am finding that my knees are starting to get some wear and I have been changing my walk and actions to cope with the pain. So yesterday I was flipping the tele through our four cable-less channels and the best reception was an infomercial on these inserts for a shoe that better distribute the load on the feet. I watch for a while and see the computer scan of how these units work and I agree that the logic is good enough to sell me a try.

Side note: My wife thinks I am wacky for watching the infomercials. I tell her I like the fact they are not interupted by other commercials and I like that on-track kind of theme even if I am never going to buy the product.

Anyway I call the handy-dandy toll free no hassle phone number...

Jed: Yes, I would like to buy a pair of the Walk-Fit shoe inserts for $19.95

Salesperson: OK sir, I would like to get your e-mail address. (She also gets my credit card, home address and phone number)

Jed: Why my e-mail?

Salesperson: So we can send you other product offers.

Jed: No, I don't need all that spam, I just want the inserts. Please delete my e-mail.

Salesperson: You can also buy up to five extra pairs at just $14.95 each for all your shoes, just for acting on this offer today. Also for $9.99 we can express ship them next day.

Jed: No, I don't need any extra pairs, extra fast, I only want the one pair of inserts.

Salesperson: Today with this offer you can get a thirty day suppily of our bone suppliment that helps rebuild joint strength. The following months will be automaticly drafted from your credit card at $19.95 each month unless you cancel.

Jed: No, I just want the inserts for my shoes in normal delivery time. I do not want to join a monthly drug club where you charge things automatic on my card.

Salesperson: Very well Sir, by calling today you also can get for free the first month a special insurance that covers some of your medical cost your current insurance does not for just $49.99 a month for the following months. Can I sign you up?

Jed: I only want the damn things you put in your shoes to help with foot stress.

Salesperson: I understand Sir, but you can also with todays offer get a three night stay at over twenty exotic locations by filling out our phone servey. Shall I switch you over?

Jed: No Miss, I do not want extra pairs, drugs, insurance, fancy air shipping, motel stays or any other offers peroid.

Salesperson: OK sir I understand, but today you can get free for the first month three national publications...

Jed: (cutting her short) What do you think I am going to say to this offer? I only want one pair of the shoe inserts. I do not want to buy any other products today and now I am nervous that you have my credit card number. Please process my order for one pair of shoe inserts for $19.95, and that is all.

Salesperson: OK Sir, we will be charging your Visa $19.95 for the Walk-Fit shoe inserts and a $9.99 processing and shipping fee for a total of $29.94.

Jed: What the hell it cost 50% to ship these! Just forget the whole transaction I don't want the damn shoe inserts anymore.

Salesperson: Are you sure Sir?

Jed: Mam, I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

Salesperson: OK Sir, I have aborted the transaction in full.

Jed: Thank God.

200 seconds later the phone rings...

Jed: Hello, Jed's house, Jed speaking.

Caller (later known as Jim): Hello Jed, I am Jim with Walk-Fit International. I understand you aborted a sale with us. Do you mind me asking if there was a problem with our product?

Jed: (feeling an open door to walk in) Well Jim I did not want to get in a land deal in China, join a health club, sign a contract with a drug dealer, buy a condo, get the Wall Street Journal delivered to my door or anything other than some inserts for my work boots which I wear sixteen hours a day six days a week most weeks.

Jim: Well Sir let me send you our fine product with no shipping charge at $19.95 charged to your Visa.

Jed: That is all I wanted in the first place, Jim.

Jim: I am sorry for the confusion Jed, and I hope you enjoy our fine product and if you not you can send them back at no charge to you. I am sending you my office phone number and e-mail address with the inserts, do feel free to call with any questions or concerns about our product or service. Good day Sir.

Jed: Thanks for not making matters worse.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 10:10 AM


You will let us know if they work, won't you. Thank you for standing up again for the little man. Keep an eye on your Visa account though.
Anonymous Richard, at 9:28 PM  
I wish that supervisor worked for my cell phone provider. They have more hidden charges than the Blue Ridge caves have hidden passageways.
Blogger Anne Johnson, at 8:21 PM  
The thing that really stinks is scams built into things you have to buy like health insurance/care, home loans/rent, and food/fuel.

Too many people leaching causes inflation. If money changes hands for no goods or services then everyones money is worthless or becomes worth less.
Blogger Tennessee Jed, at 5:44 AM  
yer account of that no account sales team is a classick, sir! twill be intrestin to here whuther them thangs ye finely bought ye do inny good. heres hopi thar grate! ye dun urned em.
Blogger buddy don, at 10:08 AM  
Hope the inserts work. Telesales is a 'mare, call-centre staff must just lead such a shit life. So rigid. I try to be sympathetic, but when they bullshit me then I get narky at 'em. Like the insurers who wouldn't send me a letter because "we're a paperless office, sir", yeah, not when you're sending me junk mail.

Good on yer matey.
Blogger krusty the baker, at 5:41 PM  
Crocs. Go with Crocs.
They are from heaven, although they make your feet sweat.
Blogger newscoma, at 8:32 PM  
Do crocs have a steel toe and shank option?
Blogger Tennessee Jed, at 5:49 AM  
hey to hang in there with the spam-a-lot's their job,yeah, but it's our job to tell them NO..and you did your job.

hope the damn things work for ya.
Blogger John H, at 8:13 PM  
You know, this might be a great idea TJ. You could patent it and make a mint. I know about a hundred guys who would buy today.
Blogger newscoma, at 7:20 PM  
I hope that you liked the inserts better than I did. Unfortunately I bought the same product for $39.95! I was one hurtin' nurse at the time.
They didn't do the trick for me & sit in a junk drawer as we speak.
What DID work was retiring from the nursing field.. go figure.

I love your blog.
Blogger sandegaye, at 4:22 PM  
My dad is by far the most hilarious man I have ever met.

Love you
Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:17 PM  
My dad is by far the most hilarious man I have ever met.

Love you
Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:17 PM  
Hi Jed,

You must be a real jack ass. From reading your dumb ass blogs, I understand your thinking. You feel your better, smarter, and higher than those around you. Namely, those in a customer service position. Did the thought ever occur to your ignorant ass, that that poor operator was only doing her job. She is probably required to offer you the extra product packages and you being the ass that you are, made her day a little shitter, but that seems to be your goal. So yeah, I guess you do make things worse for everyone else, you are after all breathing their clean air and making a total waste of it.
Anonymous Marie, at 5:22 PM  
HEY HEY, lucky dog!!! i'm actually going to try this next time this happens to me... LOL!!

the sales process of these things seems very similar to the cancellation process that you have to deal with when you try to cancel an AOL subscription; these telesales folks have scripts they have to stick to and they are SO ANNOYING to try to get through all their "special offers"!!
Blogger shannon, at 11:04 PM  

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