Saturday, October 08, 2005

Mercy Street

I have been fighting a computer war with my hard drive. I have been defraging, scanning, editing registry entrys, .ini .sys .drv files chopped up everywhere, hard drive scratches and the smell of melting plastic have been my last few hours. I have booted a thousand times since my last post. I have had limited use of my computer to do an e-mail then restart, look at a page and restart, make a comment and restart, update a driver and guess what...restart, I even woke up at 4 a.m. to just boot up, restart then pee. Turn it off for an hour boot up defrag and restart. I even thought about taking it out for a ride to the river let it have a good swim, bring it back and then restart. It is holding firm now. At last I can post on my web log.

Peter Gabrel wrote this song "Mercy Street" and it touches me because I wear my inside out much of the time.

looking down on empty streets, all she can see
are the dreams all made solid
are the dreams all made real

all of the buildings, all of those cars

were once just a dream
in somebody's head

she pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
she pictures a soul
with no leak at the seam

lets take the boat out
wait until darkness
let's take the boat out
wait until darkness comes

nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
nowhere in the suburbs
in the cold light of day

there in the midst of it so alive and alone
words support like bone

dreaming of mercy street
wear your inside out

dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again

dreaming of mercy st.
'swear they moved that sign
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms

pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth

tugging at the darkness, word upon word

confessing all the secret things in the warm velvet box
to the priest-he's the doctor

he can handle the shocks

dreaming of the tenderness-the tremble in the hips
of kissing Mary's lips

dreaming of mercy street

wear your insides out
dreaming of mercy
in your daddy's arms again
dreaming of mercy st.

'swear they moved that sign
looking for mercy
in your daddy's arms

mercy, mercy, looking for mercy

mercy, mercy, looking for mercy

Anne, with her father is out in the boat
riding the water

riding the waves on the sea

When I am stressed I like to notice the little things, a whiff of the roses if you will. Like taking the time to notice how the rainy day has everything dark and shiny wet. How my shirt feels on my lips while I lay with eyes open to the sight of the kitchen table, my favorite place. Pondering God and what I mean to him. Glancing at the tire swing in the back yard as I let the dog out and live out many hours worth of memories in less than a second.

These things help put aside the computer woes and the late Friday mail that alerts me that the D.O.T. has boned up my payment for a ticket and is now going to make me prove my payment was made (just don't get pulled over in the mean time). I am in control of this ship, but the waves have a mind of their own.

At least I am enjoying the ride, and I have folks who love and help me. I keep hoping I am not white trash, even though all indicators point in that direction. Perhaps it is likened to maddness...I will be the last one to know. It could be that
by asking the daily questions, "Am I crazy?" and "Am I white trash?", I am holding off that curse. Man I hope so!

Y'all have a good day, Godspeed as you travel and rubber side down my fellow scooter trash.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 3:33 PM


What a weblog post ...I'm still trying to absorb it. I hope everything works our for you on Mercy Street. Nice license photo...that is very hard task to pull off.
Blogger red molly, at 7:05 PM  
I love peter gabriel - he expresses a lot of things for me.
I once joked that I wish I had some kind of ethinic heritage other than white trash -
but all joking aside - labels are just that - labels.
you and your wife are very good people and that's all that matters - don't let these things get you down - in the salt shaker of life this time is just a grain of salt.
Blogger Julie, at 10:17 AM  
Thanks for stopping over here at Jed ladies!

RM I was thinking that day how rough I looked and I must get drivers photo today on April fools!

Julie, so that is why I feel so salty and shakey.
Blogger Tennessee Jed, at 5:51 AM  
And we all know what goes real good w/ salt don't we? tequilla
Blogger Julie, at 12:50 AM  

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