Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Atlas in Rags
You may remember this time of year gets me a little dark as the sun emulates me in its short quick path across the winter solstice sky. I know it is arrogant to feel like the sun is following my lead, but it does seem like I am the center of my universe inside this emotion. Please forgive or simply dismiss me as I ramble in a self-pitiful way. At the very least you can never say I was not honest in sharing myself with you as a writer and keeper of everything. Albeit too much too often I will not repent today.
When I study myself in as careful a way that anyone really can, I find the common denominator in all my bad dealing is me. It is difficult to have objectivity while being the center of the universe and my gravity affecting the path of my closest star. Nonetheless I blame nothing else exactly as I do myself.
I honestly feel better about my bankruptcy than ever before seeing that so many other people and entities have felt the gravity starved stomach rolling fall. Better, smarter and wiser people than I have come to join the company of misery loving lately, but be it wrong or right I am glad to have pulled them into my vacuum. Justice clearly has been made when I see how my darkness has spread to this globe and I made the world to fall from my back.
That is right, I did this, and I am proud and bitter concurrently to watch my things get dingy with my disregard to replace them. My bedclothes are threadbare, my towels full of holes and my clothing is worn and dated from my decision to pull things off course. The longer my rest the more weary my items, yet I have lost the urge to come back from my vacation.
Freedom is what they say it is when I scrounge for coins to buy life and watch others shop for useless things to brighten this otherwise dark time. Good luck, for I am all powerful obviously to have veered you into my foreclosure. Believe me when I say that I have held you as tight as I can, but you fell when I lost my footing on this slippery spinning universe.
Forgiveness is never expected or coveted because I know you have no choice the way that I do. You will be patting yourself on the back at how you pulled your own bootstraps up in recovery, and I will know who was the tug, because I needed them to suspend my rags.
It can't make matters worse to do a little creative writing.
When I study myself in as careful a way that anyone really can, I find the common denominator in all my bad dealing is me. It is difficult to have objectivity while being the center of the universe and my gravity affecting the path of my closest star. Nonetheless I blame nothing else exactly as I do myself.
I honestly feel better about my bankruptcy than ever before seeing that so many other people and entities have felt the gravity starved stomach rolling fall. Better, smarter and wiser people than I have come to join the company of misery loving lately, but be it wrong or right I am glad to have pulled them into my vacuum. Justice clearly has been made when I see how my darkness has spread to this globe and I made the world to fall from my back.
That is right, I did this, and I am proud and bitter concurrently to watch my things get dingy with my disregard to replace them. My bedclothes are threadbare, my towels full of holes and my clothing is worn and dated from my decision to pull things off course. The longer my rest the more weary my items, yet I have lost the urge to come back from my vacation.
Freedom is what they say it is when I scrounge for coins to buy life and watch others shop for useless things to brighten this otherwise dark time. Good luck, for I am all powerful obviously to have veered you into my foreclosure. Believe me when I say that I have held you as tight as I can, but you fell when I lost my footing on this slippery spinning universe.
Forgiveness is never expected or coveted because I know you have no choice the way that I do. You will be patting yourself on the back at how you pulled your own bootstraps up in recovery, and I will know who was the tug, because I needed them to suspend my rags.
It can't make matters worse to do a little creative writing.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 7:11 PM
4 Comments:
You're a good man. The sun will shine on you again.
Do more.
Festive blessings, Jed.
Festive blessings, Jed.
Very interesting post Jed. The creativity and emotion you mustered up here rivals few. Job (from the bible... you know Job) had a similar blog entry. The grateful part of his story was he was delivered. It took several chapters, but it happened. It will with you as well. Oh and about about all those people buying useless things to brighten their day... I don't think many of them are happy either.
Are you still with us, Jed?
