Sunday, October 16, 2005

Cold Coffee

My heart, my heart is cold forged.
My disappointments overcome me in a freeze-dried version
Of something that was good once.

Too many scars, too many scars to cover the way I really am.
It is as a burn victim but not with the flame.
The liquid nitrogen that has flowed my body clean is still pooled
In a place that is easy to rupture.

I seem like a self-absorbed whiny astronaut
Afraid of the cold space that voluntarily envelops me.

I give no defense for my rambling self-pity, and bitterness.
I desire to pour out this vessel, and refill it
Warm and good.

Scared to death it may be the container
That is contaminated not the contents.
The hot love once poured would become
Luke-warm and bitter on contact,
Black coffee collected in a cold beer stein.

Y'all forgive Jed in his selfish despair. It has been a very emotional weekend of internally imposed crossroads. This is my simple self-examining therapy…nothing more. Please do not assume it is a cry for help, because I have faith and hope alive. I am still very much alive and thankful for even the grief.

Please understand that I have good shoes to roam the earth. I must work with what I have as the photo above does, except I have much, much more to work with.

The sun will shine that much brighter after this storm, but in the mean time I strive to not worsen matters.
:: posted by Tennessee Jed, 5:55 PM


It's alright to have the blues sometimes. Just don't hang out there too long.
The birds sing after a storm ya know, so you should too.

damn spammers!
Blogger Julie, at 8:35 PM  

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